1. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

2. You get a tatoo that reads “This body best viewed with Firefox 3.x/IE 7.0 or higher.”

3. You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.

4. You turn off your router/modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

5. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap…and your child in the overhead compartment.

6. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.

7. You laugh at people with 9600-baud modems.

8. You start using smilies in your snail mail.

9. Your hard drive crashes. You haven’t logged in for two hours.  You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP’s access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem… And you succeed.

10. You find yourself typing “com” after every period when using a word processor.com

11. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

12. You start introducing yourself as “JohnDoe at yahoo dot com.”

13. All of your friends have an @ in their names.

14. Your cat has its own home page.

15. You can’t call your mother…she doesn’t have a modem.

16. You check your mail. It says “no new messages.” So you check it again.

17. Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

18. You don’t know what gender three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

19. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

20. You tell the cab driver you live at “http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html.”

21. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

==

1. A friend stops to see you since your phone has been busy—–for a year!!!!!

2. You forgot how to work the TV remote control.

3. You see something funny and scream, “LOL, LOL.”

4. You tell everyone, that after surgery, your mom went to ICQ ……instead of ICU!

5. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.

6. You placed the refrigerator beside your computer.

7. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have ICQ in your car.

8. Tech support calls YOU for help.

9. You beg your friends to get an account so you can “hang out.”

10. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.

11. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.

12. You say “he he he he” or “heh heh heh” instead of laughing.

13. You say “SCROLL UP” when someone asks what it was you said.

14. You find out divorce papers had been served on you 6 months ago.

15. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant
message to.

16. You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.

17. You start to experience “withdrawal” after not being online for awhile.

18. You say…….”Where did the time go??”

19. You sit on ICQ for 6 hours for that certain special person to sign on.

20. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

21. …..You end your sentences with…..three or more periods…….

22. Your shoes are suddenly 2 sizes too small.

23. You think faster than the computer.

24. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and **kisses**.

25. Being called a newbie is a major insult to you.

26. You’re on the phone and say BRB.

27. Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes.

28. Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this….”BRB. Leave your S/N and I’ll TTYL ASAP.”

29. You get up at 2:00 AM to go to the bathroom and turn the computer on instead.

30. You need to be pried from your computer by the Jaws-of-life.